Jun 14, 2005

Corporate Whore

I am a bona fide badge-carrying member of Corporate America. I sit and participate in many, many meetings to discuss business issues and I'm saying right here and right now that I am fed up with Corporate Speak. I define 'corporate speak' as saying some long-winded phrase to describe something when all you need to do is simply state your point without all the fancy metaphors gleaned from management books and the like. That was a bit too long of an explanation, wasn't it?

Corporate Speak is bullshit talk. That's about as precise and to-the-point as I can manage today just coming back from vacation.

Here is the latest catch-phrases that I've collected since the beginning of this month:

  • Looking left and looking right (The corporate equivalent of the children's rhyme "Look up, Look Down, Look all around--your pants are falling down!"?)
  • Confronting the brutal facts
  • pressure-testing
  • How can we do this without more paddling?
  • Triage your time
  • How do you want your pain?

So from time to time, I'm going to post more of these phrases just for the fun of it. I hope you'll be mindful of corporate speak and jot down some good ones that you hear during the day and send them along to me, too. Please email me at kimperry@charter.net with your favorites.

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