Aug 17, 2007

Personal Ads for the Home

There should be personal ads for home appliances, don’t you think? Mine would go something like this:

MWF seeks vacuum with a sexy Dyson-like canister and the suction of a Shop-Vac. Attachments helpful, but not necessary. Enjoys full range of motion, Berber carpeting, Pet hair and a carpet-fresh feeling. Email if you can handle our potentially whirlwind OCD relationship mixed with dander, cobwebs and an occasional thumb tack. Bag optional. No Roombas!!

MWF seeks black refrigerator with double doors, ice-making capabilities and adjustable shelving. Must be 33” in width and can handle Lean Cuisine meals, pints of Ben & Jerry’s and the occasional frost-bitten pork chop. Alphabet Magnets and grocery lists welcome.

MWF seeks front-loading washer/dryer that can handle the love of a denim comforter and go with The Tide. I’m not fussy-white and colors OK. Must be able to handle plastic lingerie holders, lint ball devices and the occasional smelly footwear. Wide Loads welcome.

Well, you get the point.


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