Dec 30, 2007

Hello Kitty Contacts


Look deep into these eyes. Can you see the Hello Kitty contacts this chicky is wearing? Are you completely freaked out?

What will Sanrio think up next? Hello Kitty IUD's? Sure, no one will be able to see how cute it is, but you'll know it's there.

One of my goals in the New Year is to look into getting contacts. I have suffered one too many times with fogged up glasses while walking in the parking lot to my car and I'm sick of buying those expensive eye glass wipes.

I had contacts several years back, but wasn't successful wearing them because it took me nearly 30 minutes to put them on my eyes every morning and after a short while, I realized all the time I could shave off of my morning beauty routine if I just slapped my trusty glasses back on my face.

But I've got the itch again to have the world see me in an unencumbered way without my glasses sitting crookedly on my face and I'm hoping that by the summer I'll have worked up the nerve to try contacts again.

These Hello Kitty contacts really gave me a good laugh. It also reminded me to add "Buy Contacts" onto my growing list of 2008 New Year's Resolutions.

Dec 29, 2007

A Geeky Tombstone

Love this photo I found on HubHive.com.

I wish that I could read the inscription because I'd imagine there would be some reference to the blue screen of death.

It also gets me thinking that the person died a while back because he doesn't have an LCD monitor. Cost of marble would have been less, right?

Dec 28, 2007

Give It On Up for Homelessville!

By far one of my most favorite skits of Justin Timberlake performing on SNL. Enjoy.

Dec 23, 2007

SantaLand Diaries

Spencer and I went to see a play called The Santaland Diaries based on the book Holidays on Ice: Stories by David Sedaris.

The play was a one-man show featuring Guy Oliveri who was simply amazing as the thirty-something New Yorker who finds himself employed as Crumpet the Elf at Macy's Department store during the holidays.

The Santaland Diaries is not your typical heart-warming fare of good cheer and joy. Instead it's a twisted account of one man's journey into retail hell dealing with people from all walks of life wanting that perfect photo with Santa and doing just about anything to get it.

Guy Oliveri is one actor I'm hoping to see perform again. Just as I get overly impressed when a waitress can remember my dinner order without pen and paper, imagine how blown away I was watching Guy perform on stage for well over an hour all by himself bringing one of my favorite David Sedaris stories to life right before my very eyes! I loved him.

The play was presented at The New Repertory Theatre in Watertown. Aside from some poor navigation on my part (going through a red light down a one-way street into oncoming traffic), getting there was a snap. We parked for free in a very huge parking garage that was adjacent to the theatre. The tickets were $35 for general seating that we had ordered online about a month ago. Since we arrived early enough, we had our pick of seats including front row. We chose the center of the second row and watched as the theatre filled up nicely pleased with ourselves for having chosen such great seats. The fold out chairs were surprisingly spacious and comfortable. The stage itself was very minimalistic: a swivel stool, a tall locker and a strand of Christmas lights. The play started promptly at 3pm and we were back in the car by 4:15pm.

We both had a great time and it was a nice way to slide into celebrating Christmas in just a few days.

Oh! The Santaland Diaries is running through January 1st and they've added some late night shows in case you want to see it. You can also read about it on Going-Boston as it was a recently featured event. I kind of feel cool having said I've been to an actual event featured on Going! since I never see myself even thinking about doing any of the hip stuff they suggest doing in and around Boston. As Terri would say, "For once I've got some cool factor."

Dec 12, 2007

Can You Find Me Now?

I had been meaning to visit a very well known gift store called Barber Brothers in Natick, MA for quite a while now. The store is a little too far away to visit during my lunch hour and I have been told that there is so much to see that I couldn't possibly experience it all in an hour.

I required directions to the store so I clicked the link on the bottom of their website which took me to Yahoo Local Maps. I entered my work address and printed out the directions. And this is where the fun began for me tonight.

I easily travelled Route 9 East as the directions instructed, took a left onto Gormon Road and then looked for a right onto Grant Street. Problem was it wasn't there. I ended up in a residential neighborhood with one way streets without any indication that I was even close to where I needed to be. I made my way back onto Route 126 and tried again reasoning that my eye sight isn't so good in the dark and maybe (just maybe) I had missed an obvious turn. No such luck.

I began wishing that I had one of those GPS systems in my Mazda. Then it dawned on me that my Motorola cell phone had a program I could download called VZ Navigator which might just be able to get me out of this pickle I found myself in. I recalled my sister-in-law Katie using it once while visiting Boston with her mom. She was going to sign up for a $9.99/month subscription, but instead gave the service a test drive by using it just once for $2.99.

I did the very same thing and the service worked beautifully. I simply typed in my destination "215 Central Street Natick, MA" and immediately the GPS feature that I enabled in the settings of my phone identified my live position and was ready to give me turn by turn directions using the optional speaker phone.

I secured my cell phone onto the special magnet mounted to the dashboard and off I went. The lady's voice told me to take turns (both right and left) in plenty of time to execute. I was able to visually follow along on the screen of the phone to see both a map and arrows and see my progress toward my final destination. The navigator service worked so well that I ended up in Wellesley!

Ummm. But wait. Didn't I tell you the gift shop was Natick?

I swear I did everything the phone told me to do and yet I still kept finding myself being routed into Wellesley. It just couldn't be right. I drove on stubbornly determined that I just had to be so close to Barber Brothers because I was driving on Central Street and the area was very populated with lots of downtown shopping. Barber Brothers just had to be here!

After obvious frustration, I finally pulled over and looked at my printed directions hoping to see some blatant mistake. Perhaps I typed in the wrong street number? Maybe it's really located in Wellesley and not in Natick as I had erroneously assumed.

Then I saw as clear as day where I went wrong. I typed into the phone "215 Central Street" when in fact, I should have entered in "215 West Central Street". Well, duh! It's bad enough I'm not so good with knowing my left from my right, but I can't blame the VZ Navigator for doing what it was supposed to do. Garbage in, Garbage out.

With a deep sigh, I reset the destination and the trusty Verizon network found my confused sorry ass sitting in a parking lot in Wellesley and pleasantly told me to "...take the next legal U-Turn." (It would have been OK if the woman's sweetly toned voice actually said, "...take the next legal U-Turn...Dumb Ass!)

So off I went finally heading in the right direction. In triumph I glided into the Barber Brothers parking lot nearly five miles away from where I thought I needed to be. I entered the store pretty pleased with both my determination in finding the infamous gift shop and my excitement about a new feature in my cell phone. There were many folks shopping and strolling through the aisles, but I bet they didn't appreciate being there as much as me.

I'm sorry to say that after my misadventure tonight, Barber Brothers was anti-climatic. Don't misunderstand-it was a beautiful store. But I was in the need for non-specific eclectic Christmas gifts and I just didn't find what I didn't know I was looking for.

However, I am not disappointed. I'm glad the whole thing happened tonight after work because now I know that if ever I get lost driving to some place new and exciting, all I have to do is pay $2.99 and I can find my way back home again. That's money well spent in my book.

Dec 11, 2007

Rachel-Just Eat the Whole Damn Donut!

Dear Rachel,

It's awesome that your everywhere pimpin' the Dunkin' Donuts coffee because I love their drinks. They are, as you say, DELISH!

But you need to know how SICK TO DEATH I am of your holiday commercials. You're turning me into a Grinch. Just drink your Vanilla Spice Coffee and shut up about it. Stop sharing your Christmas memories with me.

Do you honestly expect viewers to believe you "...split a ginger bread donut..." with your mom while you both are out holiday shopping? Just eat the whole damn donut! Live a little.

I wonder if you had any influence with the marketing team that came up with that commercial because you didn't want people to think you were letting yourself go because of all those petty tabloid reports about your ballooning weight due to a troubled marriage? Did you say to them, "Ummm, better let me say I shared the donut with my mom. Christmas is the season for giving, right?"

I respect your right to be marketable and you probably can't help those big posters hanging from the ceiling in all the Dunkin' Donut coffee shops. But can I ask you a favor? Can you put your power behind the strangely absent-from-the-menu Dunkachino and see if they'll consider bringing it back? I bet they would listen to you. Remind them that you're the spokeswoman of the mighty Ritz Cracker!

As Uncle Ben told Peter Parker, "With great power comes great responsibility". I think after all you've done to annoy me, you could at least try. Just put some of those Rachel Rayisms to good use. It might sound something like this:

"You Guys! How about bringing back that delish awesome Dunkachino? It's really Yum-O!"

If anyone can bring back the Dunkachino, you can. No go get 'em Sista and don't forget to eat the whole damn donut next time you and your mom are out shopping.

Sincerely,

Kim Perry

Dec 2, 2007

Can't Sew This!

Alex, a blogger over at Neatorma, came across this Simplicity pattern featuring MC Hammer pants.

My friend Jillian can sew up a storm and we recently took a trip to Wal-Mart in Natick to find a pattern for an outfit she's trying to make for a tap dance recital with her niece. She insists on making her own costume rather than buying the lycra nightmare the instructor suggested they wear because she wants to control how her fat ass looks in tap shoes. (Her words, not mine!) Thanks to her, now I know how to look up a Simplicity sewing pattern in those large books on the filing cabinets at Wal-Mart.

Just flipping through the catalogs makes me so jealous of her seamstress skills. She can sew curtains and drapes, hem stuff and make clothes. Damn-all I can manage to do is buy it off the rack.

I imagine learning how to sew would be very hard. There's tape measures, scissors, bobby pins and fabric involved. I just don't think I have the capacity to do it, but then again I never really tried. I guess sewing is just another one of those Home Economic lessons I didn't bother learning back in junior high that would benefit me now as I approach the tender age of forty.

If only I had paid attention back then. I just might have turned out to be an accomplished housewife wearing an applique apron baking hot oooey gooey delicious cookies with a plastered smile of success on my face. Instead I'm just a 37 year old supply planner eating prepared frozen food out of boxes and shopping at Macy's with my 15% Sunday coupons.

But it's not all bad. Even if I could sew, there's no way I'd ever make MC Hammer pants.

The Gum Thief

I'm currently reading Douglas Coupland's book The Gum Thief. I'm on page 53 and I've got 222 more pages to go before I finish the book. Why am I telling you this boring detail when I'm not even a 1/4 of the way through the book? Because I used to work for Staples in their corporate office for five years and the plot of this book is set in a Staples store and it's simply brilliant! Each turn of the page either brings back a memory of buying office supplies or deep feelings I had about working in the office supply industry. It's pure frosting on the cake that the book is written by one of my favorite authors.

The book has a fairly convoluted storyline that at times is a little hard to follow (again, only on page 53), but here's what it's about: Roger is a divorced middle-aged sales associate working at Staples. Bethany is a young goth woman also working at Staples who one day stumbles upon Roger's diary in the break room. The weird thing about the diary is Roger is writing in the mock diary pretending to be her and he's very accurate. What follows is the two of them developing this weird relationship because she ends up writing back to him in this diary, but forbids him from ever speaking directly to her about it. If that isn't surreal enough, Roger is also writing a work-in-progress novel called Glove Pond that the reader (that would be me) gets to also read alongside the silently developing relationship of Roger and Bethany. Did I forget to mention that at one point Roger dated her drunk mother?

The references to working at a retail office supply chain are spookily accurate and ring true for any employee (former or otherwise) of Staples. Here's just one of many inspired examples of prose from page 17:

And working at Staples is a career? I can't believe the government even classifies what we do as a job. A job is something you can do for life. A job has some dimension of hope to it. Setting up fresh little sheets of white paper for people to use to test magic markers is not a hope scenario. All people ever draw is squiggles. It'd be funny if they wrote the occasional fuck or drew anarchy symbols. I can't believe people even pay for pens. Talk about the world's most shopliftable item. Staples must die.

Coupland has also come up with a great way to promote his new book: a viral video. If you have 8 minutes to spare, I suggest watching it below. This particular video merges several snippets of introductions to the characters via selectively placed words within a Staples store with actual text from the book. Some of the segments even feature bricks of staples made into words-very Michael Gondry if you appreciate that sort of thing.





It should come as no surprise that after a mere 52 pages in to this book that I recommend you run out and buy it. Or tell Santa you want it for Christmas. It's available at Amazon or in your grocer's freezer. (Sorry. I just wanted to make sure you were paying attention.)

The Art of Nathan Sawaya

Readers of my blog know how much I love instantly recognizable objects made from Legos. I'm a big fan of artist Nathan Sawaya who I first saw featured on The Colbert Report back on August 20th of 2007.

His creations are currently touring the nation in an exhibit called The Art of the Brick and is the first museum tour to focus soley on the use of Legos as objects of art. I haven't seen this exhibit, but I'm very excited to report that this exhibit is coming to
The Stamford Museum & Nature Center in Stamford, CT March 2nd through August 18th of next year. I am there! If you want to go and want more information on the exhibit, click here.

He doesn't limit his creative vision to just Legos. Check out the anatomically correct heart made out of Necco Hearts. Cool, huh? Imagine giving this as a gift for Valentine's Day?

I can't help writing about stuff made from everyday objects. It find it interesting and love the minutia of art in this medium. So readers-you'll have to forgive and indulge me. I heart all things Lego!

Dec 1, 2007

All I Want For Christmas

Looking to buy me a Christmas gift this year and not sure what I want? It's easy now that I've visited the site All I Want. I've completed the DNA mapping process by choosing pictures based on my personal preferences to help YOU determine what I'd like as a Christmas gift this year.

The results are uncannily accurate. Just look at my list here.

My list contains some pretty swanky stuff. In fact, I wouldn't turn you away at the door if you brought me one of these offerings as a Christmas gift. I might even put you on my Christmas card list for next year if you get my gift right. In fact, I'd praise you for your cleverness and thoughtfulness. How did you know I wanted The Mocha Dunk Mug? Did you catch me dunking Oreos in my milk during break? Gosh, you are SO observant!

The brain trust behind this gift selection tool are called Imagini and they also offer similar tools to discover your Personality and What Planet Are You On? Check it out when you have some time to spare during this busy holiday season. I think you'll like what you find.

I know I did because thanks to my new Mocha Dunk mug, I now have a place to rest my sopped-with-milk Oreo cookie. Now if I could just stop buying Christmas presents for myself and leave that up to you...

Don't Be Sad


I LOVE Beagles.

A Beagle is my absolute favorite breed of dog. Just look at Cooper. How can anyone be sad looking at this adorable face? I found this little fella at The Daily Puppy.

I have an RSS feed that just trolls through FLICKR pulling anything tagged with the word 'Beagle' I look at pictures of Beagles every day and star my favorites in what I like to call Puppy Porn.

Shhh. Don't tell anyone, but wanna see it? Click here.

Vermont Country Store

Spencer and I are taking a day trip today to visit The Vermont Country Store in Rockingham, Vermont.

We've had a few prior false starts of thinking that's what we were going to do on the weekend and then we'd get sidetracked with other things and never leave the house. Instead we'd spend hours on the computer, go out for dinner somewhere and come home for a nice lazy afternoon nap.

But today we are going for certain and I'm really looking forward to the long ride and spending time with him.

The Vermont Country Store has a very strong catalog business along with their two storefronts and it's because they sell cool stuff like this bouncy inch worm that keep customers coming back for more. I love the store because they do such a good job sourcing hard-to-find things such as 'retro' toys, perfumes, cosmetics, food and other household items. This is the place if you want to buy Body on Tap shampoo or a Smith Corona electronic typewriter. I recommend you visit the category Brands From The Past to get the full breath of their amazing product selection. Also a great online shopping experience if you're looking to WOW your grandparents this Christmas with a thoughtful gift.

Back to the Bouncy Inch Worm. I had this when I was a little girl. I remember it very clearly because I used to bounce on it in the living room watching television and would give my grandmother Rose heart palpitations because she always thought I'd fall off of the inch worm and smack my head on the brick fireplace like I did riding this stuffed pony back when I was just a toddler. (Once you split your head open-just a little bit-the accident tends to forever haunt you around the grandparents).

Last year I bought a silver tinsel tree along with the color wheel. I love the tree, but had to return the color wheel because it just didn't throw the promised spectrum of lights to my satisfaction. I bought my co-worker Sue a wind-up women's watch, but the packaging was so chinsy that I returned it. I figure if you pay$49.95 for a watch, it ought not to come on a cardboard piece of paper shrink wrapped from China. And that's the overall thing to keep in mind when buying from The Vt Country Store. Sometimes it's not about the prettiness of the package, but the product itself. They have great customer service and stand behind their return policy.

We've been tasked today by my mother-in-law to buy her a Powerball ticket and to pick up a few things if we see them. I'm looking forward to walking around the store seeing things from my past for sale and trying not to justify buying every single one of them for myself. After all, it is Christmas and I should be shopping for someone other than me.