Dec 30, 2008

Colour Down Under

I'm sure everybody knew this except me, but I never realized that pubic hair can turn grey.  Yes, I'm naive.  You don't have to tell me...I hear it all the time from loving friends.  But seriously...who knew?

I was surfing around the Vermont Country Store's new Winter products on their website this afternoon and in their apothecary section I came across Colour For Down Under.  It's a dye to color your pubic hair...y'know...down there.  Can you imagine?

Like all products featured on this great site, there is a section for customer testimonials.  Needless to say, no one has posted a comment yet.  Hmmm. I wonder what they would say if they did? 

And now all that keeps looping in my head is that Clairol jingle from the 70's:  "I'm gonna wash that grey right out of  my head."

I understand maybe some people don't like to have grey hair because it makes them look older than they want to look. I also know there are women who go through torturous waxing sessions to be well groomed for their partner, but dying pubic hair is a little too freaky for me.

I wonder what Andy Rooney would say about this?  Think I'll go send 60 Minutes an email right now.

Dec 29, 2008

May The Sloth Be With You

I'm lucky enough to be on vacation from work until January 5th.  That's eleven solid days away from the office, but whose counting?  I've looked forward to this stretch of time off from work for months.  It's been the proverbial carrot dangling in front of my face during so many difficult days at the office when I just wanted the day to end so I could go home and relax.

Now that the Christmas break is here and underway, I thought it would only be appropriate to take a moment to reflect on what's been accomplished being that there are now only six days left of my vacation.

Things I Did On Vacation:

  • Took an afternoon nap every day
  • Watched Jericho Season 1 and 2 in a marathon session via my Roku Netflix player
  • Ate more than my fair share of homemade chocolate chip cookies and Pop Tarts
  • Continued to not exercise
  • Celebrated Christmas with the family
  • Put away all my Christmas gifts, for the most part
  • Charged up my iPod Touch
  • Updated some month end reports for work
  • Slept late every day
Are you seeing a pattern here?  I've burned through five days already and haven't really gotten anything of substance accomplished.  I've been living the life of a lazy person and it feels kind of weird.  

I feel like I should be doing something meaningful like painting our spare bedroom or going out shopping or organizing my sock drawer.  But I know that I'm being too hard on myself.  I'm doing exactly what people are supposed to do when they're on vacation - absolutely nothing.  Even though I know this, it still feels weird. I've got the shakes and only a To Do List will calm my nerves.

Pretty soon my remaining six days off from work will be down to three and eventually I'll find myself come Sunday afternoon being thoroughly dumbfounded that I didn't accomplish one real thing during Christmas break.  I must be mindful to squeeze out as much as I can in these remaining six days.

Screw it - I'm going back to bed.

Dec 26, 2008

Be Still...My Beating Heart

Christmas was pretty great this year.  My sister-in-law Katie gifted me some incredibly thoughtful stuff like a fancy stylus for my iTouch because I have fat fingers, a Bubble Wrap 2009 Calendar, the complete Little Britain series on DVD and my favorite gift of all - My Beating Heart .

It's a small fuzzy pillow in the shape of a heart and it has a tiny computer inside that mimics a beating heart.  You turn on the pillow and it beats for 20 minutes and then shuts itself off.  Every time you turn on the pillow, a different heart rhythm occurs.  It's suggested that if you hold the pillow close to your own heart it will start keeping pace with the pillow artificial beat.

I've used it a few times and it's the most astonishing thing - it actually relaxes me.  I find myself focusing on the vibration of the beating heart and before I know it, I'm out like a light.  Complete relaxation.

I'm on vacation next week so I plan to do my share of heavy afternoon napping.  You can bet this lovely pillow will be cuddled up against me along with Spencer and the fat beagle, of course.

I can't recommend this pillow enough. Valentine's Day is only a few short months away and I think this would be the perfect gift.  Screw the box of chocolates.  Give me this pillow and a package of 9-volt batteries and I'll love you forever.

Dec 24, 2008

Christmas Is Cancelled

Now that it's officially Christmas Eve, I thought it only appropriate to share the above picture with my readers.  My co-worker and good friend Sue gave me this little hacked photo about a month ago and it’s been posted on my monitor throughout the month of December.

Like many, I’m a big fan of The Office. I have been ever since I came across the brilliant original version years ago on the BBC. I really felt the Americanized version of The Office didn’t have the same understated spark as it’s British counterpart, but over the past few seasons I’ve grown to really appreciate the differences between the two shows.

I very much look forward to rounding out my work week hitting the ‘select’ command on my DVR because I can’t wait to see what happens next between Angela and Dwight. The most recent episode – Moroccan Christmas-was fantastic! I loved poor Meredith Palmer setting her hair on fire while she was dancing drunk at the company Christmas party which led Michael to conduct an impromptu intervention…during the Christmas Party. Only Michael would think that dropping someone off at a rehab clinic was a perfectly acceptable solution to a co-worker’s drinking problem. The poor clueless man never considered that rehab was an option.

I recently heard that Jack Black is going to appear in an episode airing after The Super Bowl. I love Jack Black and am really looking forward to seeing what the writers come up with to feature his many talents. I could see him playing a stalker very easily – maybe Meredith’s ex-boyfriend?

Heard In The Hallway At Work Today

"I have to go buy a funeral gift."

Dec 15, 2008

Why Didn't I Think of This First?

Do you ever have those times when someone does something really, really clever and you're completely bummed out because you didn't think of it first? 

My friend Michelle has put together one hell of a holiday greeting for all of her readers, friends and family and I just had to share it with my own readers, friends and family.

Click here to see the AWESOMENESS.

Michelle - you continue to inspire me with your amazingly creative 24/7 365 days of existence. You make me want to learn web design something fierce.  I know I'm pretty good with the fluffy words, but I could use a little juice when it comes to painting the picture. 

Happy Boxing Day.

Love, Kim

PS  You can keep your boot camp on Saturday mornings.  I'll pass.

Dec 7, 2008

Back On The Wagon

I admit it.  I fell off the Jenny Craig wagon back in early October.  I was doing so good on the program that I made the grave mistake of thinking I could continue losing weight on my own.  What was I thinking?  Especially with Halloween right around the corner.  As Homer is fond of saying, "D'Oh!"

At first I wasn't doing so bad.  I continued to exercise and watched what I ate very carefully.  But as time passed, I found myself slipping back into my old self-medicating ways.  Watching TV while eating a bag of nicely-burned buttered microwaved popcorn sure did make me feel good.  Being able to have ice cream again was heavenly.

But I received a much-needed slap in the face by my friend and co-worker Michelle. She must have observed me snacking a little too much and had the balls to send me an instant message telling me in no uncertain terms that I was sabotaging myself. I immediately felt my cheeks flush red because it felt like I got caught reaching into the cookie jar.  But it was what I needed to hear and what I wasn't allowing myself to act upon.  I knew I was out of control.  I knew that I made a mistake going off of Jenny Craig and I knew without a doubt what needed to be done.

That very day I called a different Jenny Craig center and set up an appointment to see about rejoining the program.  I addressed all the concerns that were driving factors in my decision to go it alone.  They were as follows:

  • My counselor never had a weight problem and therefore I found it really difficult to relate to her advice.
  • I was getting tired of my weekly appointments getting shifted all over the place based on when my counselor was available.  What was once a steady appointment of 5:30pm on a Tuesday turned into appointments after 6pm which resulted in me getting home after work around 7pm or later.
  • The food is really expensive. A frozen meal may cost over $5 when I could buy a similar Lean Cuisine or Weight Watchers meal much less at the grocery store.
  • I was getting really annoyed with my counselor always asking me if I needed any bars or salad dressing or snacks when I tried to cut down my Jenny food purchases.
I'm happy to say that I re-committed myself to Jenny Craig this past week because I addressed all the things that were bothering me about the program.  Here's what I did:

  • I have a new counselor who has a weight problem herself. During my first appointment with Jackie,  she made me feel instantly better by telling me that I should forget what has happened in the past and focus on TODAY.  When we talked about events that I had coming up this week, I told her about a Christmas party that I'm going to and she gave me some helpful tips on how to survive it.  Not "Don't eat a thing", but rather suggested that I eat my meal before hand and if I find myself wanting to snack choose first any vegetables or fruit that might be offered.  But she did also say to me, "It's OK to have a small snack if you need to, but just have one or two."  She then offered to call me this upcoming Tuesday to check in with me to see how I did at the party.  
  • I found out that I don't have to spend a minimum dollar amount on Jenny Craig food to do the program.  I always assumed that I had to and it was such a relief to hear otherwise.  I could buy a little or as much food as I wanted each week.
  • My weekly appointment is every Saturday at 10am with Jackie.  It's late enough in the morning that I get to sleep in and it's convenient because the center is only ten minutes away from my house. 
I had my first appointment this past Saturday and it went well.  I'm able to forgive myself for falling off the wagon and proud of myself for admitting going off the program was a big mistake.  I know that eventually I'll have to learn to maintain my weight loss without eating Jenny Craig food, but for right now it's a very good thing that I realized I can't lose all this weight on my own.  I need the help and support of Jenny Craig and in my book that's going to be money well spent - on myself.

Nov 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving

Tomorrow marks two years since the death of my mom so I've been feeling pretty down this week-especially listening to co-workers discuss their travel plans or talk about what they're cooking for Thanksgiving dinner. 

Granted it was always difficult for me to celebrate major holidays like Thanksgiving and/or Christmas with my mother because it meant I had to go up to the nursing home to pick her up and bring her over to my in-laws for dinner. 

I think back to how I felt for the past eight years on these holidays. Spending Thanksgiving with my mom involved silently dealing with my irritation that residents of the nursing home were virtually forgotten all year long except on the big holidays when families would seem to appear out of nowhere to whisk away their loved ones for a couple of hours.  But if  I'm being honest with myself, I really was just jelous that they chose to live their lives independently from their ailing relatives and I was stuck being the devoted daughter of a mother whose whole life revolved around me. 

I can't help but remember  that I used to fantasize what Thanksgiving would have been like if I didn't have to pick her up at the nursing home each and every holiday because I wanted to make it a special day for her.  I thought about no longer having to perform the ritual of signing her out of the nursing home with her packets of controlled-substance antipsychotic medications, helping her into the front seat of my car and loading her walker in the trunk without crushing all the  little things she had affixed to her walker basket. I wouldn't have to then deliver her to my in-laws where she would have a few bites to eat and eventually complain  to me when my mother-in-law was out of ear shot that she couldn't chew the turkey because of her "damn dentures not fitting right." Needless to say, catering to her growing needs each year was never a blessing and always a burden.  

I recall how my mother-in-law would buy scratch tickets and candy bars to give away as prizes while we all sat around playing Bingo (bored out of our minds) with my mom to pass the time after Thanksgiving dinner. We all really made an effort to make her feel welcomed and part of our family celebration. 

But it was strained and irritating. There wasn't ever a time that I felt she really appreciated my extra efforts on her behalf to make the day special.  I'd end the day with loading her back into the car and driving her back to the nursing home most often trying to hold my tongue when she'd promise to call me later that night for a chat because she was bored again. Invariably I would muse that someday I wouldn't have to ever do this ever again.  I could have a holiday that didn't involve visiting her nursing home and dealing with all the inconveniences of trying to make her feel a part of a family celebration.

Spencer and I will be heading over to his parent's house this afternoon to celebrate Thanksgiving and this will be the second year of only having to look after myself now that my mother is gone.  I'll sit with his family and enjoy a nice meal.  But the ironic thing is now I'd give just about anything to be able to go back to Autmn Village nursing home and collect my mother for another meal that she couldn't chew.

Nov 23, 2008

Make Your Own Fun!

Seriously--this is flipping adorable.  If I could get Minnie interested in such a device, she might lose a pound or two with all that running back and forth. So cute!

Nov 18, 2008

Justin Timberlake in 2 Minutes

Nov 17, 2008

Justin Timberlake on SNL - AGAIN!

Nov 13, 2008

Healthy Holiday Eating Tips

Our corporate office is having a Healthy Holiday Eating seminar on November 18th. I was chuckling to myself when I read the topics of the meeting:

• What to eat to keep yourself energized
• Which foods are healthy and how to build these into your diet
• Which foods to avoid and how to steer clear
• What your holiday meals will look like
• What to do when the holiday is over

The following would be my suggestions for surviving the Holidays:
• How to incorporate the minimum amount of tasty goodness into your day
• Fruit Cake is not healthy even though it contains fruit – Don’t believe the hype!
• Avoid Cookie Swaps at all cost
•Craft Tip: Substitute Pirate’s Booty in place of popcorn to make holiday baubles for your Christmas Tree
• Invest in those cute little pant-expander loops because who are you kidding? There’s no way you’re going to pass up on all that delicious eggnog!

Nov 8, 2008

Dear Comedy Central...

Dear Comedy Central,
Please DO NOT cancel Chocolate News!  I know I'm being a bit premature in thinking that there is even a possibility that this show won't make it on your network, but I have to ask regardless.
I have been a faithful view of The Colbert Report since it launched back on 10/17/05 and I've watched it every night. But that was easy for me because I've loved Stephen Colbert since his Strangers With Candy days.  Loving his news show was a given.
Which brings me to Chocolate News.  I love David Alan Grier...always have and always will.  But never in my wildest dreams did I think his new show Chocolate News would be so crackerlishishly funny.  I am glued to the TV for every episode and I have to admit the writers outdid themselves coming up with the character of  24-yeard old Peanut Wiggins of Jacksonville, Florida - a volunteer at precinct 1"05...ah 9...7" 
I laughed so hard watching this skit that I got some of my morning coffee up my nostrils which took me back to my days f sixth grade when my best friend Lisa used to make me laugh so hard that my Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup came out of my nose.  Gross, I know, but necessary to convey to you how much I love this show.
Please don't cancel it.  Please!  Where else will I be able to get my daily fix of Urban Pop Culture?

Take On Me - A Literal Version

Nov 7, 2008

Remember When?

Nov 4, 2008

Rock The Vote!

I'm heading off to the polls tonight around 7:45pm to avoid the crowds.  This year the polls in my neighborhood have been moved to Lincoln Village's Swimming Pool Center.  Really?  Really! No more visits to the Worcester Magnet School down the street which at least had ample parking.  Instead my district has decided on possibly the worst location to have people vote - a run down activities center in the middle of a low-income housing area. 

I've heard many co-workers asking each other if they've gone to vote yet.  One person couldn't attend an important meeting this morning because he was out voting.  C'mon-the meeting was at 9:30pm.  Can someone really use voting as an excuse to not be to work at the designated time?  Apparently he took his civic duty very seriously much to the detriment of very my important meeting.  God Bless that Patriot!

Many of my co-workers have already gone to vote this morning.  It's been a mixed bag of responses concerning how busy the polling areas have been and I'm a little concerned about how I'm going to handle standing in a long line to vote in a swimming pool center.  Will my mind wander?  Will I get caught up in other people's conversations about (a) how irritated they are that the voting location changed this year or (b) express concern over how Question 1 is going to change EVERYTHING?

Personally I rather take a trip up to Route 3 North and vote in New Hampshire because obviously John Sununu and Jeanne Shaheen have spent a lot of cash to slam their political ads down my throat each and every morning for the past sixteen weeks and I want to return the favor by giving one of them my hard-earned vote.

Spencer and I took a trip up to North Conway, NH this past weekend and I was amazed at the number of signs decorating people's front lawns that were made out of poster board and black magic markers.  Vote For Obama!  Vote for McCain! Some jazzed up their political signs with glitter and neon colored magic markers.  We passed through one town where a whole bunch of  young girls were standing on the corner imploring me to "Honk for Change". 

I will be pleased when the election is over.  Very pleased.  Either way this election is going to be historical in the sense that we'll either have our first female Vice President or our first Black President.  This might also be the only election in history where over 70% of the registered voters actually vote.

I just hope Obama wins...'cause Tina Fey is getting tired y'all!

Oct 30, 2008

Crappy Halloween

I’m hiding in my house with all the lights off tomorrow night. The neighborhood kids can go door-to-door begging for sweets, but they’re not getting anything from me-especially after the way they treated my kindness and good will last Halloween.

I don’t particularly care for strangers showing up on my doorstep-especially neighbors of mine that are none too neighborly until they want something…like my sweet sweet candy.

Also, the notion of toddlers going Trick or Treating who can’t even say “Trick or Treat” while being held by their doting parents just seems wrong to me. Kids should only be allowed on my door step if they can walk on their own, be tall enough to reach my doorbell and speak in clear sentences.

Why am I so bitter towards Halloween? Well, let me tell you about last year’s experience on October 31st:  For some reason last year Spencer and I weren’t going to be home to give out candy, but I didn’t want to stiff the kids out of candy so I decided to create a self-serve-help-yourself Halloween display on the front porch of my house. I went to Target and bought several super-sized bags of candy. I got a big ‘ole bowl and filled it with my candy and placed it on the table outside for the neighborhood kids.  I have to admit that I felt pretty good about myself for not stiffing the kids just because I had other plans that evening. In fact, I imagined how a younger me in the ‘70s might feel if I came across a porch step with help-yourself candy on the honor system. Two words: appreciation and delight!
Of course my faith in thankful, well-behaved neighborhood kiddies didn’t live up to my imagination of how the evening would turn out. Rather I experienced the sharp pang of my naiveté as I turned into the driveway  to see all the empty Tootsie-Roll wrappers thrown all over my front lawn and more shockingly-my table tossed across the street into my neighbors yard. I simply couldn’t believe it. “Animals!” I thought to my self-righteous self as I walked across the street to reclaim my table and stooped to pick up as many loose candy wrappers that I could find. I don’t know what stunned me more: that the kids were ungrateful little bastards or the fact that my neighbors didn’t lift a finger to remove my table from their front lawn. Did they think a strong gust of wind delivered the table so unkindly onto their lawn?

I swore off Halloween from that day forward and that is why you won’t find my entryway lit in any sort of invitational manner tomorrow night. Instead, my doorstep will be dark as the night and inside you'll find me re-watching an episode of Dexter in the comfort of my bedroom.

I’m hoping my very public shunning Halloween won’t in the end come back to haunt me. I don’t want eggs thrown at my house nor do I want to see toilet paper rolls in my trees. Instead I hope the little hoodlums from last year will walk by my house and recall that this was the lady who put such faith in their goodness.

Oct 29, 2008

Puts New Meaning to the Phrase: Sugar Daddy

Photo sent to me at work today from Cindy.

Oct 25, 2008

Frenchman singing 'Thriller' A'cappella

François Macré - Thriller (reprise A'cappella 64 pistes)

I have no problemo saying I was and still am a huge fan of Michael Jackson.  I recently got a chance to listen to his 25th Anniversary Edition of the Thriller album so I'm primed and in the mood for all things MJ. 

This performance puts new meaning to the skill of beat boxing.  Blake Lewis better watch his back is all I'm saying.

Oct 21, 2008

day 216 - i adore you

day 216 - i adore you, originally uploaded by sprytaen.

I found this photo in my Flickr RSS feed for Beagle pictures. Umm, I'm at a loss for words other than I think I like this woman who was so pissed off at her pants that she took them off right in the kitchen and tied her apron.

I don't know who you are, but GET ON with your bad self.

So Say We All

The denizen's of my Corporate office have spoken and the dinner plates in our cafeteria are back! 

I went down for lunch this afternoon and just as I was thinking to myself that the plastic oval soup bowl was going to be a bit tricky in the microwave with my Jenny Craig Chile Con Carne lunch...I reached for the plastic bowl and instead got the familiar cool-to-the-touch porcelain dinner plate.  I immediately spoke out loud to the man standing to my left:  "Hey!" I excitedly exclaimed, "The dinner plates are back!"  The way he looked at me in response to my announcement made it clear that he was an outsider just visiting today.

Unable to contain my excitement, I bounded over to the cashier to ask why the dinner plates were back.  She explained that people complained about not liking the two sizes of plastic bowls so they decided to bring back the dinner plates.  Just like that. I couldn't believe it.  Our employees apparently expressed a negative opinion about the plastic bowls and the cafeteria Powers-That-Be chose to revert back to same old same old.  Way to go, Sodexo!

But I just don't get it.  I submitted a "We'd Like To Know" form about two months ago suggesting that they may want to consider additional coffee flavors other than Hazelnut and Vanilla Nut.  "Whatever happened to the Irish Creme flavor?" I asked.   Eventually I got my way and they began serving Irish Creme again, but now I'm known to all the cashiers as the Irish Creme lady.  It's embarrassing to be so noteworthy over something so inconsequential.  On the mornings that Irish Creme is served, I'm asked several times by the cashier, "Did you see the Irish Creme?"  or   "Did you get the Irish Creme today?"  Seriously, enough already!  I got my damned Irish Creme and I don't need to be reminded about it every morning.  Thank you!!

On second thought, I don't know what I'm complaining about.  What I should do is fill out another one of those "We'd Like To Know" cards simply asking that the flavor be renamed to "Kim's Irish Creme."  If family-operated sandwhich shops can name a sandwich after their favorite customers, the least my corporate office could do is type up a fancy tag and name the flavor after me.

After all, they brought the plates back!

Oct 20, 2008

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

I took today off from work.  The personal day was taken in part for an expected long getting-away-from-Massachusetts weekend.  However, our plans didn't quite work out that way due to my lack of planning. Oh, the irony!

Instead we did other things in and around New England. Saturday we visited The Mall at Buckland Hills in Manchester, CT.  Sunday we drove to Newport, RI and did some shopping around town.  The visitor's parking lot was the emptiest I've ever see it, but that probably had something to do with this thing they call 'off season' in Newport.  That and the wind gusts felt like they were 50 mph!

I had the great idea to go see the new Michael Cera movie - Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist at Showcase North this afternoon.  We went to the 2:45pm show and the best thing about seeing the movie was there was not one person in the theatre except us.  That's never ever ever happened to me!  I just wish I could say the movie warranted the coolness of having the place all to ourselves-sadly it did not live up to my expectations.

The movie was pretty dull and certainly not the laugh-riot I had built it up to be in my head after seeing the previews.  No biggie.  We got to see a movie marketed towards teens without any of them being around us which was super sweet.

So yes, I had a very nice long 3-day weekend. I took several long naps, ate two amazingly tasty dinners at Smokey Bones and Chili's and managed to finally watch the Tsotsi movie from Netflix which has been sitting on my living room table collecting dust for at least six weeks.

All in all, a very good weekend indeed.

Oct 19, 2008

My Boy DOES have a sense of humor-Phew!

Mark had me worried for a bit there...going on Jimmy Kimmel Live this week  threatening bodily harm to Adam Samberg.  But he appeared on last night's episode of Saturday Night Live showing he could spoof himself and embrace his new catchphrase:  Say Hi To Your Mother For Me. 

Might I also add that his was a very well-timed appearance considering it was the episode that featured the real Slim Shady herself-Sarah Palin-making a farce of the presidency of the United States? Mark couldn't have chosen a better time to pimp his new Max Payne movie. 

I'm just waiting to find the t-shirt.  Y'know it's coming.  Say Hi To Your Mother For Me.

Oct 18, 2008

Upside Down...Before You Turn Me...Inside Out...And Round and Round!

Discovered a new favorite site this morning:

I'm Craving Pancakes!

The above video is a submission in the WonderHowTo 2008 Video Awards.

Mark my words: At some point during my 3-day weekend I am going to satisfy my three-week strong craving for pancakes.

Oct 14, 2008

They're Bringing (Sexy) Alien Lizards Back!!

OMG! I just read online that ABC is remaking "V" !!  I loved that mini-series back in 1984 when I was fourteen years old. 

I can remember Karen and I watching the four-hour mini-series and talking about it at school the next day. 

Remember-this was back when there wasn't IM, Chat Rooms or text messages.  If you wanted to talk to your BFF then you had to (a) pick up your Princess phone and call her (b) write her a detailed note about what you didn't understand from last night's episode or (c) wait until 5th period when you could see each other face-to-face.  So frustrating!

I happened across V a few months ago  and tried watching part of the mini-series to sort of re-live the magic, but I simply couldn't get through ten minutes of it because it was so bad and unbelievably cheesy.  But here's the thing: it doesn't really matter because this was one of the biggest mini-series back when I was just a kid.  Aside from The Thorn Birds...

I think V was special to me because it featured reptillian SEX with a human and was fascinating.  That's right-I said it.  Robin Maxwell got her freak-on with one of the Visitors and (SHOCK!) she got knocked up with twins.  Good and Evil twins. And guess who survived?  If you chose the lovely ordinary cute-as-a-button  Elizabeth (aka The StarChild) then you'd have guessed correctly.  The other green machine didn't survive and earth turned out to be a  better place because of it.
I really could go into so much more detail, but I don't want to bore you to reptile tears.   Suffice it to say that this remake might potentially be very good (as in Totally Awesome to the Max) as it's being penned by writer/director Scott Peters who was the creator/writer and director of the short-lived TV show The 4400.  (Note to self: add Season 1 to my Netflix que.)

Lately there are just so many remakes kicking around out there that you wonder if anyone in Hollywood has an original thought left.  I mean, seriously, did they really need to bring back 90210?  Wasn't The Hills and Gossip Girl enough to satisfy our guilty (slutty) pleasures? 

Now if only I could get Pixar Studios interested in doing a movie about  Barabpapas...

Barky Bark and The Donkey Bunch

Needless to say, I was quite disappointed to hear that Mark Wahlberg didn't find this Adam Samberg parody funny at all.

He tells the New York Post, "Someone showed it (the parody) to me on YouTube. It wasn't like Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin, that's for sure. And Saturday Night Live hasn't been funny for a long time. They've asked me to do the show a ton of times. I used to watch it when Eddie Murphy was there and Joe Piscopo and Bill Murray. I don't even know who's on the show now."

Sorry Mark.  I love you as much as I love Justin Timberlake, but you need to lighten up.  Don't take yourself so seriously!  You should be happy that comedians out there like Andy are making fun of you.  It's when they stop that you should be worried.  Wasn't that someting Clark Gable said a long time ago?

Much love to Marky Mark...Peace!

Oct 12, 2008

Trail of Terror

I deleted the recent Emmys from my DVR so Karen and I had to come up with something else to do on a Friday night in early October.  I didn't really want to see a movie on a date night so instead I did some digging around and found The Trail of Terror in Wallingford, CT - about 1-1/2 hours away from Worcester.
It looked pretty fun - walking around outside at night getting the bejeezus scared out of us for a mere $10 admission which goes to benefit The American Red Cross.  In fact, they also offered a 'speed pass' for an extra ten bucks that would get us in much quicker.  I called Karen, we agreed on the plan and I placed my order online for (2) speed pass tickets for the 9-10pm time slot.

I told Karen that we should plan to leave Worcester around 7pm which would allow for 1/2  hour wiggle room in case we got lost driving to CT.  We left her house a little after 7pm and hit the road.

It was totally  my fault that I took the Mass Pike via Route 495 rather than picking it up much closer near the Auburn/Oxford area.  I simply wasn't thinking.  Nor was I expecting that traffic would be so unbelievably BAD that night!  The Pike was crawling...bumper to bumper traffic..and that's when it hit me: Columbus Day Weekend.  Grrrreeeeaaaaattttt.

We were supposed to get off the Pike on I-84, but after spending nearly two hours on the pike stuck in hellish traffic and the clock ticking away we simply gave up because there was no way that we'd get to CT in time for our 9pm reservation.  I was so pissed off.  It just never crossed my mind that traffic would be so heavy.

In the end we took the next exit off the Pike which landed us in the Palmer/Brimfield area and we drove a whole bunch of back roads until we got back into town.

I put approx. 200 miles on the car and never once got the bejeezus scared out of me.  I went onto the site on Saturday to see if I could change my tickets to another date, but no such luck.  We were out $44, but at least the Red Cross got some bucks.

Lesson learned - don't buy tickets on a whim without thinking through the traffic situation on a Friday night.

Sep 30, 2008

You Know You're Into Justin Way Too Much...

...when you ask your husband to get the November issue of Golf Digest magazine because Justin's featured on the cover and there's an interview to be read. 

I am not into golf, I have never watched golf, I am not a devote of Tiger and the only thing I appreciate about the sport is the cute golf carts. 

Well, that and now Justin, of course.

Sep 29, 2008

I'm Just Saying...WOW!

Sep 28, 2008

I'm Falling and I Can't Get Up - Air Bags to the Rescue

Prop, a Japanese company, has invented a wearable airbag for their 30 million plus elderly population for the mere cost of $1400.00
The airbags are contained within somthing that looks like a fannypack. It weighs 2.4 pounds and if the vest's sensors detects you're accelerating towards the ground, the air bags will inflate in 0.1 seconds with 3.9 gallons of gas each  protecting both the hips and the head.  

Watching the video is pretty funny.  It reminds me of those silly trust exercises that Corporate America so loves where you're supposed to fall backwards and someone will catch you.  Just imagine one of the workers over at Prop being told they have to test out this airbag vest over in R & D.  "Ummm...You're sure this thing works, right?" 

Even though I'm making fun of it, I know from personal experience that if this product was available I would have bought it for my mother.  Towards the end of her life, she fell several times and it's a wonder she didn't break something. I support any device that is marketed towards protecting our elderly population.

My only question is what about the people who fall forward?

It's Not A Pup Tent...It's A Poop Tent

It's been one long rainy weekend.  It's never a good day for our beagle Minnie when it rains.  She has a keen sense of *something* that alerts her to rain.  I am constantly amazed at her perceptiveness when it comes to Mother Nature.
A rainy day means she will hold it in all day if she has to because NOTHING is getting her to walk down our front steps and go for a round.  If we're able to get her to cross the threshold of our front door, she'll hunker down with all the stubborness and determination of a bull dog and will not budge. 
Yesterday while Spencer was at work it was my job to get her to go pee.  I opened the door and had to tug her down the stairs for her own good.  Once her paws hit the wet pavement she must have been silently calling me a bitch because walking in the rain is just not fun for her.
And forget about trying to get her to pee and poop in our backyard.  The only way Spencer can coax her is with jerky treats.  So when I came across this Benji Ventures Poop Tent, I had to check it out.

There is NO WAY this tent would work for our dog.  It's meant to be set up outside to shield your pet from the elements while they go to the bathroom.  The reason why this wouldn't work for Minnie is because there's nothing to keep her paws dry on the lawn.  It's simply a tent.  Granted I'll give you a chance to say it might be good for pets who don't want to do their business with the rain pelting them, but the product description says it protects them from the snow.  The snow?  If you live in New England, there is no way you're hauling this flimsy vinyl tent outside so your dog can go to the bathroom.  No way in hell.

It's even suggested that you get your dog to understand the purpose of the tent, one should "Place some of their waste in the tent to introduce them to its purpose."  If you read the product reviews from people who have bought this tent they're at best mixed reviews.

I almost want to spend the $19.16 for this crappy tent (pun intended) just to see the look on Minnie's face when I try to get her to take a pee inside the tent.  The only way she would get into that thing is if there was a plate of food in there.

Sep 27, 2008

Awww-My Little StormTrooper

At one point my friend Michelle had a collection of My Little Pony figures that she used to buy at yard sales and sort of restore them to their original luster by cleaning them up and meticulously combing their mane to a brilliant sheen. Once prettified, I think she sold them on Ebay for a tidy profit.

Michelle - this post is dedicated to you!

Finland Artist Mari Kasurinen has taken that 80's toy of my youth and transformed them into something wonderful that I have a strong desire to purchase. She caught my attention when I saw photos of her Star Wars creations: My Little Stormtropper, My Little Darth Vader and My Little Princess Leia.  They are clever and simply adorable and I must own one. Someday.

Her profile on DeviantArt says she'll be launching her own website very soon.  I can't wait because  I really, really want one of these.

Lately I'm getting more and more interested in digital art.  I know next to nothing about art, but I know what I like when I see it.  I wish I could be this creative.  I would have never thought to add acrylic and various other stuff to make a My Little Pony into something else. 

The Deviant Art site where I discovered this artist is a good place to begin if you're looking to rub elbows with some really talented people.

Composers Who Have Rocked Me

Heavens To Pittens!

Down 23 Pounds

Just thought I would take a moment to give you the latest update on how I'm doing on Jenny Craig.  In a word - Fabulous!  I'm down 23 pounds and a few pounds away to achieving a 10% weight loss and a new Jenny Craig menu.

Once I hit a 10% weight loss, my menu will drop from 1500 calories to 1200 calories.  I'm told by others that it's really not a big change and the adjustment to eating just a little less will be negligible.  I'm not scared.  I just want to be able to say there is 10% less of me taking up space in the world.

I had a funny experience with the food about a week ago.  I microwaved my SW Chicken Burrito and nearly spit it out when I went to take the first bite during lunch.  Oh God, it was so tangy and nasty tasting.  So I took another bite...just to be sure.  It tasted worse than the first bite so I deemed the lunch spoiled.  I sat at the lunch table eating my Bruchetta Chips and eventually bought two low-fat yogurts to fill me up for the rest of the day.  It was only later that I realized the SW Chicken Burrito should have been kept frozen.  I thought it was one of their lunch selections that you could store at room temp.  Oh, well...lesson learned.  Always read the box before storing my Jenny Craig food.

I did a little clothes shopping last night after work.  I can now comfortably fit into XL again which is such a satisfying feeling because for a while there I was wearing 1X and sometimes even a 2X depending on the fit.   I bought several blouses for work and a few pairs of dress pants that are still slightly snug in the badonkadonk region.  I'll try them again in a few weeks and I'm sure they'll be fine.

Spencer surprised me with a pair of Smurfette Blue Lounge Pants that I had saved to my wishlist on Amazon.  You can see them by clicking here. Their largest size was XL so whenever I saw them last night, well let's just say that I thought it would be a while before I was able to wear them to bed.  But I took a deep breath and tried them on just to gauge the anticipated snug fit.  Much to my surprise, I managed to get both legs into them without busting the seam.  Score!  These blue Smurfette PJ bottoms are now my way of showing myself the progress of my weight loss efforts.  Each day that passes will find them just a little less tight and eventually they will be loose on my hips just like my other pants. 
And when that happens, I'm going to pull out my lime XL Hello Kitty pajama bottoms that Heather got me last Christmas and RULE THE WORLD.

Organizing My Life One Weekend At A Time

I always like to think of myself as person who is extremely organized in both my professional and personal life.  Lately I feel like the scales are tipping in favor of my professional life and I'm hoping to bring back a balance to both.

Spencer works every other weekend at the library which leaves me free to do whatever I'd like two Saturday's a month.  Today it's raining heavily and I really feel like all I want to do is stay in the computer room and hang out.  But I told myself earlier this week that today would be a perfect day to unpack the Halloween decorations and do a little organizing in the basement. My day is nearly half way done and all I've accomplished so far is to catch up on my inbox, read all my RSS feeds and watch the last episode of The Colbert Report.

I just glanced into the bedroom to see my beagle Minnie lounging on my side of the bed tangled up in a mess of covers and pillows without a care in the world.  She HATES the rain and goes into hibernation mode at the first sign of a rain drop.  I want what she's having: to do absolutely nothing today.

But I can't.  I just can't.  I need to exercise for an hour to achieve my weekly goal of 5x sessions.  The kitchen table needs to be cleaned off because I've got half the contents of my purse dumped out  out  on it's surface with store receipts, magazines and other little odds and ends that need putting away. I need to shave my legs.  The dishes need to be washed and the shower curtain replaced.  Not to mention my big decluttering project in the basement.  Sigh.

I've read somewhere that if you've got a big decluttering project, you should set aside a specific amount of time to do one area in the house and do nothing else other than the task at hand.  I could do that, but when it comes to decluttering I develop temporary A.D.D. I find myself flitting around from one thing to the next without much focus or I completely throw myself into the task and won't stop until it's done.  Half way points stress me out!

But since Spencer is coming home at 4pm and I want to spend the rest of my time with him, I've got 4-1/2 hours to get something done.  I'll probably get on the treadmill because exercise has a tendency to kick start me and right now I think that's what I really need today. The cup of coffee isn't working it's magic.

Several of my co-workers were talking about what they were going to do this weekend since it's going to be a 100% washout with all this rain.  Sue said she's renting Season 1 of Heroes and watching it so she can get caught up on the storyline since the new season has begun.  Patty thought she might have a 'jammie' day which sounds wonderfully appealing to me.  Sharon is taking her daughter to gymnastics and hoping to introduce herself to a nice bottle of wine later in the day.

Me?  Well, I think we already know all the things I think I want  to accomplish today.  The challenge will be finding the motivation to shut off the computer, put on my sweatpants and get walking on that treadmill.

Rainy Days and Saturday always get me down.

Sep 24, 2008

Hungry Hungry Hamster

I have this t-shirt that Spencer bought me with a big orange Hippo on it and below the hippo it reads:  I was never really that hungry hungry.  I really enjoyed watching this adorable clip of the Hamster going to town on the animal crackers.  That hamster is taking care of business!

Sep 22, 2008

Loving Your Dad

A co-worker of mine is getting married in January.  She has this wonderful surprise in store for her father that is going to take place during the wedding reception.  I can't give away her secret, but I will say that hearing her gush about her father makes me pine for my dad something fierce: this upcoming November marks the 10th anniversary of my father's death.

Marybeth adores her father and I love hearing about all the things that she gets to do with him.  This afternoon she sent along a link to a whole bunch of photos she took over the weekend of her fiance Chris and her Dad at The New Hampshire Motor Speedway.  Apparently Chris and her Dad are big Nascar fans and she wanted to surprise them both with the opportunity to get out on the track to burn some rubber.  They couldn't actually drive the cars, but they each suited up and got sped around the track for five minutes going over 125 mph.  She described her dad's excitement during the whole experience and listening to her just made me nostalgic about my own father because we had that kind of relationship.

I wish I could tell people sometimes to really stop and think what their life is going to be like when one or both of their parents die. I want to tell them to really savor and appreciate having healthy parents who can enjoy seeing their children's accomplishments during adulthood and be there when they might need a shoulder to cry on because nobody can understand them quite like they do. 

My friend Marybeth gets it. It's clear that she thrives on having such a strong bond with her dad.  It makes me so happy to know that he'll be in attendance in January to walk her down the aisle when she marries Chris.  I cannot wait to hear how stunned her dad is going to be over the surprise she has in store for him after the wedding.

I admit that it's hard sometimes to hear all the anecdotes about Marybeth and her father because it reminds me that my own stories with my dad have already been written.  But for me the important thing is to never lose sight of the fact that I was fortunate enough to have had them in the first place.

Sep 18, 2008

I Knew Post-It Notes Were Fun


A Cold Front Blowing In

Seems to me that I just need to think about getting sick and I get sick.  It's the weirdest thing about my inner-mechanics. I made a friendly bet with one of my co-workers that he wouldn't get sick prior to leaving for his cruise next week.  We bet $5 on it and somehow I'm the one that got sick.  No fair.

The absolute worst part of getting a cold is when you have that scratchy sore throat in the middle of Sunday night.  You wake up at 6am and toddle into work just knowing that you're doomed for the rest of the week.  Five work days feels more like twenty when you're sick. My cold hit me full force around Tuesday night which resulted in me calling in sick on Wednesday, but only after reviewing all my meetings in Outlook and establishing an out-of-office in a Nyquil-induced haze. 

I spent Wednesday in and out of consciousness. I sneezed, snuffled and hacked myself up a fine mess into  tissues and still the sinus pressure and the sore throat raged on. At one point, my ears were insanely itchy so I stumbled out of bed and inserted a few q-tips into my orfices to see if swabbing the decks might offer a bit of relief.  Not so much.

Wednesday night I remembered a pretty important meeting that I had at 8am on Thursday morning so I went down to the car, grabbed my laptop bag and did a little work from the couch hoping that my efforts would help me squeak by further inquiry the next morning.  I prepared for the meeting by also not injesting any more Nyquil because the blessed green juice makes me feel like an unnaturally drugged woman.  Instead, I awoke this morning and crawled out of bed popping two Dayquil tablets and somehow driving myself into work.  I also dressed all in black this morning because somehow the color just suited me today. Apparently I was mourning my usual perky self.

I made it through my presentation and didn't think twice when it was strongly suggested that perhaps I might want to work from home today.  So here I am on the couch waiting for noon when I can take more Nyquil and go off to lala land for a few hours.  To sleep perchance to dream....

I don't know what it is about getting sick, but when I'm sick I appreciate my life so much more.  I fantasize about how good I'll feel when I can get back to my exercise routine.  I imagine what it will be like to sleep soundly while breathing through my nostrils and most importantly, the return of my chrystal clear thinking. These past few days have found me dazed and confused while trying to follow a conversation and I'm looking forward to being back to my old happy self. 

I predict that this cold won't turn into a nasty sinus infection because I'm going to get lots of rest and take good care of myself these next few days. Once the cold has run its course, I'll be as good as new.  However, my pocket will be five bucks lighter because I'm sure just by coming into work today to do my presentation, my co-worker caught a little something something from me.  Sorry Rick - I owe you five bucks.

Sep 13, 2008

Back to the 80's - Thank You Internet!

If Stephen King can regularly get away with doing Top 10 lists for Entertainment Weekly, then I'm sure my readers can indulge me with the following list of videos I just watched on this totally AWESOME website I found called 80's Music Videos:

  • Adam Ant- Kings of the Wild Frontier: I liked him back in the 80's, but mostly for his frilly shirts and saucy lyrics.  Strangely, I appreciate him more now that I'm all grown up.
  • Andy Taylor - Take It Easy:  I'll always have fond memories of Andy even though he stiffed me on the autographed guitar.  I can't believe how long his hair is in this video nor can I believe how much he ripped off the melody from Bang A Gong!
  • Annimotion-Obsession: I hated this song/video for the longest time because Friday Night Videos and MTV  played it over and over and over for like forever. Plus the chick looked like a skanky Barbie doll.  Now I appreciate the video for the hot guy in the Roman armor.  "What do you want me to be, to make you sleep with me?  Classic.
  • Arcadia - Election Day: I LOVED this off-shoot of Duran Duran.  Needless to say, Simon with jet black hair is disturbing and evil, but Nick's heavily cosmetic features make up for it.
  • Biz Markie - Just A Friend: Funny how even back then the ho's had big booties!   "I asked her her name and she said Blah, Blah, Blah." Watching this video still makes me want to shoot him in the face when he sings the chorus, but I still love me some Biz Markie.
  • Bobby McFerrin - Don't Worry, Be Happy:  Whatever happened to Bobby? This should be my personal theme song.  I need to remember to add this to my iPod this weekend.
  • Boomtown Rats - Don't Like Mondays: this is the only song I know by Bob Geldorf aside from his whole massively successful Band-Aid project.  He looks pretty dorky in the video, but I still like this song very much to this day.  And strangely, I still don't like Mondays.
  • Chaka Khan - I Feel For You:  This video takes me back to my roller-skating Friday nights hanging out with Karen.  Chaka Khan is also rocking some serious hair in this video and I still can't help wishing Prince made a cameo in the video.
  • Dead Kennedys - California Uber Alles:  Ahh, to relive my punk days.  Jello B. had it going on with such a catchy tune.
  • Diana Ross - Muscles:  Didn't Michael Jackson have a snake named 'Muscles?'  And didn't he write this song?  I'll have to do a little more research and get back to you.
  • ELO - All Over The World:  Oh My God did I freak out when I found this video!   It's taken from one of my favorite movies of all time - Xanadu starring Olivia Newton John, Michael Beck and Gene Kelly. My parents loved Electric Light Orchestra and I grew up listening to my mom blasting their albums when she was in a bad mood which was pretty much all the time.
  • Hall & Oates - Maneater: Known for making some truly terrible music videos in the 80's, strangely I loved this one.  Thankfully John was still rocking his moustache and Daryl's moussed up hair looked perfect. "The woman is wild, a she-cat tamed by the purr of a Jaguar."
  • Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince - Mike Tyson: I had every one of their cassettes back in the 80's and still do. I loved their clever rap songs and enjoyed watching their playful music videos.  Will Smith, before he became known as 'Big Willy' looks pretty young and foolish in this video, but his charisma still oozes with future potential.
  • Olivia Newton John - Physical:  I had this 45 when I was younger and can remember how insanely popular this music video was for her.  Watching it now makes me chuckle at her leotards because she looks like she's wearing a diaper, but I couldn't stop looking at the outdated exercise equiptment.  That is, no digital displays and lots of levers to slide up and down.
  • Flash In The Pan - Midnightman:  I don't recognize this song or the video, but Spencer helped me remember that they wrote one of my mother's all-time favorite songs Hey, St. Peter.  She'd play it over and over and over.  Now I have to hope that it's available for download on iTunes.
  • Public Image, LTD - Not A Love Song: I never saw this video before, but I love this John Lydon project.  I'm reminded that I need to pull out their CD's and give them another listen because it's been a while since I appreciated their wit.
  • The Art of Noise - Close To The Edit:  This was a group that I discovered watching on Friday Night Videos back in the day.  I'd rank them up there with Laurie Anderson.  I really, really liked this video when I was younger and it still holds my attention some 20 years later.
  • Thomas Dolby - Hyperactive:  He looks strangely attractive in this video and I'll never turn the channel when one of his videos comes on.  Clearly a man who was ahead of his time.
  • Tom Tom Club - Genius of Love:  Another one of my absolute Top 10 artists from the 80's.  This was the song that Mariah Carey sampled in her hit song Fantasy.  I really appreciated that all of their music videos were animated and squiggly looking.  Favorite songs are Wordy Rappinghood, Pleasure of Love and The Man with the 4 Way Hips.
  • Yello - Ooooo Yeah:  I never knew a music video existed for this song. To be honest, I always think of Ferris Bueller's Day Off when I hear this song.
So thanks for indulging me in my trip down memory lane.  Watching music videos when I was younger was a very big part of my life.  I wish I could go back in time to tell my younger self that I didn't have to sneak staying up  until 2am to watch Duran Duran's un-edited 'Girls On Film' video because in the future everything is preserved courtesy of the internet.

Beware of the Bassetsquirrel

It only makes sense that both a Basset Hound and a Squirrel would pair up because they both love to eat so much.

Great Baby Shower Gift!

It's times like these when I wish that I knew someone who is pregnant.  It's certainly not me yet, but should I ever get invited to a baby shower - I'm bringing a plastering kit for the expectant mom because this is such a unique gift.

It costs $65 and the Original Belly Works Cast Kit contains everything a soon-to-be mom needs to remember this very special time in her life.  A time when she was big, fat and deleriously happy because she was bringing a new life into this world.
I recommend checking out the video of how to make the cast of the expectant mother's belly-it doesn't look too hard to do it.  You might also enjoy taking a look at the picture gallery of what some women did to decorate their nurseries and commemorate their pregnancy.

I know it might be considered a little weird to get this as a gift, but I never understood why mother's would get their baby's booties bronzed back in the 70's.  I'd much rather have a cast of my big belly decorated in candy wrappers to hang in my baby's nursery...but that's just me.

Mail Order Husbands

I'm happily married and not looking for Mr. Right because I was fortunate enough to have found him some twenty-two years ago.  But what about all those lonely single women out there who aren't as lucky in love as me?  Don't they deserve to find Mr. Right, too?

Leave it to to hook them up.  Click on over to their site to take a peek at the many wonderful offerings of companionship that are out there just waiting for you.

Case in point:  The photo above is of Buzet of Romania.  He, too,  is looking for love.  Here's what he's looking for in his next lovely lady:

I am looking for someone who can hold my attention, keep up with me, and knows how to dress a wound. I am attracted to a girl with a job and a car. Preferably a Camarro. I like to meet Big American Girl.
Nice! Can't you hear  the passionate violence all ready?

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

This is a really adorable animated short featuring a love struck octapodi couple and a Vespa Ape mini-truck.

Sep 9, 2008

What Not To Do...

My Jenny Craig counselor is getting married and will be taking the next two weeks off for their nuptials and honeymoon to Costa Rica.  Here's a little piece of unsolicited advice for all you JC counselor's out there:  if your co-workers  buy you  a gift basket filled with amazingly scrumptious baked treats and things dipped in dark chocolate~be a dear and don't display it on your desk in your office during your sessions with JC clients. I cannot even begin to tell you how distracting my 15 minutes were tonight because my left elbow kept touching the saran-wrapped basket.

Also, the cinnamon twists are done for the season and their new Turkey Panini sandwich is already out of stock so I wasn't able to try that one this week. Something to look forward to next week, right?  I ended up buying the old Turkey sandwich and will hope for the best next week.

'Course the best part of the visit was I'm down another 2.2 pounds which brings me to less than a half pound away from a 20 pound weight loss in 12 weeks.

Yay me!  Go ahead-pinch my ever shrinking fat tummy. Folks are starting to notice my success. I've had two co-workers comment on my slowly emerging 'figure' this past week which gives me pause because I never considered that I ever had a figure. So it's a wonderful concept to consider that somewhere under all this weight is a girlish figure emerging when I least expect it.

One other point to mention.  My massage therapist Heather recommended that I visit Sam's Club because she swears their fruit is amazingly fresh, lasts a long time and most importantly-is very, very inexpensive. (She's been on JC since January and has lost about 58 pounds to date.)  One of her biggest challenges has been staying ahead of the expiration date on all the produce she has to buy each week following the program.  Me, too!  I'm always one banana away from a fruit crisis. 

We visited Sam's last night and I signed us up for an Advantage membership which means I can now take advantage of their amazing choices of fresh fruit and vegetables. If you would have told me three months ago that I would be excited over the cost of bananas, I would have said you were nuts.  Yea, I like fruit.  But I'm not in love with fruit, know what I mean?  I lean more towards being an orgasmic BOGO consumer when it comes to candy bars and boxes of blueberry Pop Tarts at the local Stop & Shop.  But there I found myself last night wandering up and down the aisles sighing over the freshness of  strawberries and a bunch of perfectly ripe bananas for $1.36.  Not $1.36 per pound,  but rather the whole perfectly ripened bunch.  But I don't get this way just over perishable  items. Sam's Club sells a box of 20 Skinny Cow sandwiches for $10.07.  Now that's where the  sweet spot of wholesale club shopping lies - tucked away in a back freezer adjacent to the gigantic tubs of Edy's ice cream.  You just have to know where to look and fortunately for me, I've got all the time in the world.

Sep 4, 2008

What A Difference 12 Weeks Make

I wouldn't believe it if you told me back in June that I would be able to stick to a weight loss program without little "cheats" here and there.  If you know me then you'll understand those little "cheats" could have consisted of an empty Sour Skittle candy wrapper or on occassion an empty pint of Ben & Jerry's Coffee Heath Bar ice cream.

To my surprise, I have faithfully been on the Jenny Craig weight loss plan since June 16th. I've lost nearly 18 pounds (Damn the precision of their digital scale!) which is the most weight I've ever lost being on a diet.  I'll say it again...18 pounds off of my 5'2 frame.  This weight loss amounts to 6 Macbook Air laptops or 20 cans of Baked Beans.

I have to admit that I've been struggling with my choice to continue on with Jenny Craig because the cost of the food is very expensive.  I see my weekly tally of purchased food at the center and it goes without saying that it kills me to spend $6.39 for a small piece of portion-controlled frozen lasagna - traditional or not. I walk the grocery aisles a few times a week stocking up on 6 oz. cups of fat-free yogurt, fruits, vegetables and Cool Whip because these are healthy choices to compliment my Jenny Craig menu.  But lately it's been getting harder and harder to walk down the aisles seeing all these 100-calorie packs of food.  They are everywhere.

But I think everything I've been feeling lately is a natural reaction to being on this weight loss plan for what I consider to be a very long time.  I recognize that I'm at a fork in the road to becoming healthier: I could drop the program and count calories on my own (using a free site like FitDay) or continue to press on doing the Jenny Craig program for a year to match my membership commitment I made to myself back on June 16th.

My biggest fear is that I'll convince myself that I can lose all this weight without the support and guidance of Jenny Craig and their pre-planned meals just because I've managed to drop what I consider to be a significant amount of weight.

I feel like a little girl begging her daddy to remove the training wheels off her bike.  Or as the Ting Ting's sing, "Shut up and let me go!"  

Last night I awoke around 3am because I needed to use the bathroom.  When I returned to bed and settled back into my delicous nest of pillows, I shifted my body to and fro a few times so that I was lying on my stomach hugging my many pillows.  It was as I was starting to drift off that it occurred to me that this was the first time that I got up in the middle of the night and returned to bed without feeling my heart speed up in response to the exertion it took to reposition myself in the bed.  Maybe losing 17.8 pounds made that much of a difference to my cardiovascular system?

Here's another example of progress. Tonight I went to the gym and did 45 minutes on the eliptical and 15 minutes on the treadmill.  Being able to be on the eliptical for that long is a major achievement for me.  I recall that when I joined the gym maybe a month ago, my goal was to do ten minutes on the eliptical.  I can't believe I actually did 45 minutes tonight!  I walked out of there with rubbery legs bursting with pride and personal achievement. 

I'm happy to say that I've drawn the rather obvious conclusion that I should keep using my training wheels and re-evaluate my progress in another three months.  It feels good to know that this time around, I challenged my own belief system with new and improved ways of taking care of myself and chose a path that I can continue to follow.  I apologize for sounding like Miss Oprah, but here it goes:  I want to live my best life and for me that means saying good-bye to my old life--one pound at a time. 

Aug 30, 2008

It Makes Me Want To Touch It

It's nearly that time of the year for me.  I'm just about to start my online Christmas shopping and my tour of the Malls of New England to buy unique and interesting gifts for friends and families.  Luckily I know of no one (except me) who would get a kick out of this shower gel dispenser. 

Available for purchase for a mere $17.95 at Potpourri. The Irish Spring body wash would compliment this device nicely, don't you think? 

Then again, maybe I should just get going on that letter to Santa.

Sexy People

If you're like me then you love looking through old photo albums to compare your younger self to your now self. 
I have photo albums everywhere in my house.  Someday I want to pull every single photo out of their album and categorize them either by a timeline or a subject such as "My Pets" or "Mom and Dad" or "Co-Workers"  I walk a fine line between becoming a careful cataloger of my past or a crazy scrapbook lady.

I found the blog Sexy People this morning and I just can't stop looking at all the old portraits people have submitted of themselves.  The site describes itself as "A Celebration of the Perfect Portrait."

I'll confess - Jakob (pictured here) hooked me.  This has got to be one of the funniest portraits I've ever seen. 

It makes me want to scan in a family photo that is currently hanging in my office at work.  I'm standing with a big happy gap-toothed grin on my face while being flanked by Mom and Dad.  My  Mom looks great with her 'bologna' curls that she was so proud of and my Dad is actually wearing a dress shirt.  (He was a Harley Davidson enthusiast as well as a long-distance truck driver so he never really had a need to dress up.)  In fact, the only time I can recall him dressing up (aside from sporting a tux and walking me down the aisle) was when I graduated from High School.  He wore this trippy silk shirt that depicted an old west scene of the devil riding a big bull with a whip in his hands-very freaky. 

The other funny thing about this family portrait was my Red/White Winnie the Pooh frilly little girl dress and this crazy gold frog necklace that my mother insisted I wear for the shoot.  I remember being very mad at her for making me wear a necklace because I didn't think I needed it what with the big Winnie the Pooh across my upper chest.   Even back then I wanted things to coordinate right.

Why not visit Sexy People when you're bored and looking to peep into someone's life?  You might just want to submit your own photograph.... for posterity sake.

Aug 26, 2008

You Know You're Getting Old When...

You know you're getting old when you TiVo the nightly show  Chronicle on Channel 5 because you want to know more about the local towns of Massachusetts.

You know you're getting old when you actually borrow a copy of The Saturday Evening Post magazine from the library so you can read an article about Dr. Mehmet Oz.

You know you're getting old when you learn the definition for the word SEXILE from your sister-in-law who just graduated from BC Law.