Oct 30, 2008

Crappy Halloween

I’m hiding in my house with all the lights off tomorrow night. The neighborhood kids can go door-to-door begging for sweets, but they’re not getting anything from me-especially after the way they treated my kindness and good will last Halloween.

I don’t particularly care for strangers showing up on my doorstep-especially neighbors of mine that are none too neighborly until they want something…like my sweet sweet candy.

Also, the notion of toddlers going Trick or Treating who can’t even say “Trick or Treat” while being held by their doting parents just seems wrong to me. Kids should only be allowed on my door step if they can walk on their own, be tall enough to reach my doorbell and speak in clear sentences.

Why am I so bitter towards Halloween? Well, let me tell you about last year’s experience on October 31st:  For some reason last year Spencer and I weren’t going to be home to give out candy, but I didn’t want to stiff the kids out of candy so I decided to create a self-serve-help-yourself Halloween display on the front porch of my house. I went to Target and bought several super-sized bags of candy. I got a big ‘ole bowl and filled it with my candy and placed it on the table outside for the neighborhood kids.  I have to admit that I felt pretty good about myself for not stiffing the kids just because I had other plans that evening. In fact, I imagined how a younger me in the ‘70s might feel if I came across a porch step with help-yourself candy on the honor system. Two words: appreciation and delight!
Of course my faith in thankful, well-behaved neighborhood kiddies didn’t live up to my imagination of how the evening would turn out. Rather I experienced the sharp pang of my naiveté as I turned into the driveway  to see all the empty Tootsie-Roll wrappers thrown all over my front lawn and more shockingly-my table tossed across the street into my neighbors yard. I simply couldn’t believe it. “Animals!” I thought to my self-righteous self as I walked across the street to reclaim my table and stooped to pick up as many loose candy wrappers that I could find. I don’t know what stunned me more: that the kids were ungrateful little bastards or the fact that my neighbors didn’t lift a finger to remove my table from their front lawn. Did they think a strong gust of wind delivered the table so unkindly onto their lawn?

I swore off Halloween from that day forward and that is why you won’t find my entryway lit in any sort of invitational manner tomorrow night. Instead, my doorstep will be dark as the night and inside you'll find me re-watching an episode of Dexter in the comfort of my bedroom.

I’m hoping my very public shunning Halloween won’t in the end come back to haunt me. I don’t want eggs thrown at my house nor do I want to see toilet paper rolls in my trees. Instead I hope the little hoodlums from last year will walk by my house and recall that this was the lady who put such faith in their goodness.

Oct 29, 2008

Puts New Meaning to the Phrase: Sugar Daddy

Photo sent to me at work today from Cindy.

Oct 25, 2008

Frenchman singing 'Thriller' A'cappella

François Macré - Thriller (reprise A'cappella 64 pistes)

I have no problemo saying I was and still am a huge fan of Michael Jackson.  I recently got a chance to listen to his 25th Anniversary Edition of the Thriller album so I'm primed and in the mood for all things MJ. 

This performance puts new meaning to the skill of beat boxing.  Blake Lewis better watch his back is all I'm saying.

Oct 21, 2008

day 216 - i adore you

day 216 - i adore you, originally uploaded by sprytaen.

I found this photo in my Flickr RSS feed for Beagle pictures. Umm, I'm at a loss for words other than I think I like this woman who was so pissed off at her pants that she took them off right in the kitchen and tied her apron.

I don't know who you are, but GET ON with your bad self.

So Say We All

The denizen's of my Corporate office have spoken and the dinner plates in our cafeteria are back! 

I went down for lunch this afternoon and just as I was thinking to myself that the plastic oval soup bowl was going to be a bit tricky in the microwave with my Jenny Craig Chile Con Carne lunch...I reached for the plastic bowl and instead got the familiar cool-to-the-touch porcelain dinner plate.  I immediately spoke out loud to the man standing to my left:  "Hey!" I excitedly exclaimed, "The dinner plates are back!"  The way he looked at me in response to my announcement made it clear that he was an outsider just visiting today.

Unable to contain my excitement, I bounded over to the cashier to ask why the dinner plates were back.  She explained that people complained about not liking the two sizes of plastic bowls so they decided to bring back the dinner plates.  Just like that. I couldn't believe it.  Our employees apparently expressed a negative opinion about the plastic bowls and the cafeteria Powers-That-Be chose to revert back to same old same old.  Way to go, Sodexo!

But I just don't get it.  I submitted a "We'd Like To Know" form about two months ago suggesting that they may want to consider additional coffee flavors other than Hazelnut and Vanilla Nut.  "Whatever happened to the Irish Creme flavor?" I asked.   Eventually I got my way and they began serving Irish Creme again, but now I'm known to all the cashiers as the Irish Creme lady.  It's embarrassing to be so noteworthy over something so inconsequential.  On the mornings that Irish Creme is served, I'm asked several times by the cashier, "Did you see the Irish Creme?"  or   "Did you get the Irish Creme today?"  Seriously, enough already!  I got my damned Irish Creme and I don't need to be reminded about it every morning.  Thank you!!

On second thought, I don't know what I'm complaining about.  What I should do is fill out another one of those "We'd Like To Know" cards simply asking that the flavor be renamed to "Kim's Irish Creme."  If family-operated sandwhich shops can name a sandwich after their favorite customers, the least my corporate office could do is type up a fancy tag and name the flavor after me.

After all, they brought the plates back!

Oct 20, 2008

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

I took today off from work.  The personal day was taken in part for an expected long getting-away-from-Massachusetts weekend.  However, our plans didn't quite work out that way due to my lack of planning. Oh, the irony!

Instead we did other things in and around New England. Saturday we visited The Mall at Buckland Hills in Manchester, CT.  Sunday we drove to Newport, RI and did some shopping around town.  The visitor's parking lot was the emptiest I've ever see it, but that probably had something to do with this thing they call 'off season' in Newport.  That and the wind gusts felt like they were 50 mph!

I had the great idea to go see the new Michael Cera movie - Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist at Showcase North this afternoon.  We went to the 2:45pm show and the best thing about seeing the movie was there was not one person in the theatre except us.  That's never ever ever happened to me!  I just wish I could say the movie warranted the coolness of having the place all to ourselves-sadly it did not live up to my expectations.

The movie was pretty dull and certainly not the laugh-riot I had built it up to be in my head after seeing the previews.  No biggie.  We got to see a movie marketed towards teens without any of them being around us which was super sweet.

So yes, I had a very nice long 3-day weekend. I took several long naps, ate two amazingly tasty dinners at Smokey Bones and Chili's and managed to finally watch the Tsotsi movie from Netflix which has been sitting on my living room table collecting dust for at least six weeks.

All in all, a very good weekend indeed.

Oct 19, 2008

My Boy DOES have a sense of humor-Phew!

Mark had me worried for a bit there...going on Jimmy Kimmel Live this week  threatening bodily harm to Adam Samberg.  But he appeared on last night's episode of Saturday Night Live showing he could spoof himself and embrace his new catchphrase:  Say Hi To Your Mother For Me. 

Might I also add that his was a very well-timed appearance considering it was the episode that featured the real Slim Shady herself-Sarah Palin-making a farce of the presidency of the United States? Mark couldn't have chosen a better time to pimp his new Max Payne movie. 

I'm just waiting to find the t-shirt.  Y'know it's coming.  Say Hi To Your Mother For Me.

Oct 18, 2008

Upside Down...Before You Turn Me...Inside Out...And Round and Round!

Discovered a new favorite site this morning: UpsideDownDogs.com

I'm Craving Pancakes!

The above video is a submission in the WonderHowTo 2008 Video Awards.

Mark my words: At some point during my 3-day weekend I am going to satisfy my three-week strong craving for pancakes.

Oct 14, 2008

They're Bringing (Sexy) Alien Lizards Back!!

OMG! I just read online that ABC is remaking "V" !!  I loved that mini-series back in 1984 when I was fourteen years old. 

I can remember Karen and I watching the four-hour mini-series and talking about it at school the next day. 

Remember-this was back when there wasn't IM, Chat Rooms or text messages.  If you wanted to talk to your BFF then you had to (a) pick up your Princess phone and call her (b) write her a detailed note about what you didn't understand from last night's episode or (c) wait until 5th period when you could see each other face-to-face.  So frustrating!

I happened across V a few months ago  and tried watching part of the mini-series to sort of re-live the magic, but I simply couldn't get through ten minutes of it because it was so bad and unbelievably cheesy.  But here's the thing: it doesn't really matter because this was one of the biggest mini-series back when I was just a kid.  Aside from The Thorn Birds...

I think V was special to me because it featured reptillian SEX with a human and was fascinating.  That's right-I said it.  Robin Maxwell got her freak-on with one of the Visitors and (SHOCK!) she got knocked up with twins.  Good and Evil twins. And guess who survived?  If you chose the lovely ordinary cute-as-a-button  Elizabeth (aka The StarChild) then you'd have guessed correctly.  The other green machine didn't survive and earth turned out to be a  better place because of it.
I really could go into so much more detail, but I don't want to bore you to reptile tears.   Suffice it to say that this remake might potentially be very good (as in Totally Awesome to the Max) as it's being penned by writer/director Scott Peters who was the creator/writer and director of the short-lived TV show The 4400.  (Note to self: add Season 1 to my Netflix que.)

Lately there are just so many remakes kicking around out there that you wonder if anyone in Hollywood has an original thought left.  I mean, seriously, did they really need to bring back 90210?  Wasn't The Hills and Gossip Girl enough to satisfy our guilty (slutty) pleasures? 

Now if only I could get Pixar Studios interested in doing a movie about  Barabpapas...

Barky Bark and The Donkey Bunch

Needless to say, I was quite disappointed to hear that Mark Wahlberg didn't find this Adam Samberg parody funny at all.

He tells the New York Post, "Someone showed it (the parody) to me on YouTube. It wasn't like Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin, that's for sure. And Saturday Night Live hasn't been funny for a long time. They've asked me to do the show a ton of times. I used to watch it when Eddie Murphy was there and Joe Piscopo and Bill Murray. I don't even know who's on the show now."

Sorry Mark.  I love you as much as I love Justin Timberlake, but you need to lighten up.  Don't take yourself so seriously!  You should be happy that comedians out there like Andy are making fun of you.  It's when they stop that you should be worried.  Wasn't that someting Clark Gable said a long time ago?

Much love to Marky Mark...Peace!

Oct 12, 2008

Trail of Terror

I deleted the recent Emmys from my DVR so Karen and I had to come up with something else to do on a Friday night in early October.  I didn't really want to see a movie on a date night so instead I did some digging around and found The Trail of Terror in Wallingford, CT - about 1-1/2 hours away from Worcester.
It looked pretty fun - walking around outside at night getting the bejeezus scared out of us for a mere $10 admission which goes to benefit The American Red Cross.  In fact, they also offered a 'speed pass' for an extra ten bucks that would get us in much quicker.  I called Karen, we agreed on the plan and I placed my order online for (2) speed pass tickets for the 9-10pm time slot.

I told Karen that we should plan to leave Worcester around 7pm which would allow for 1/2  hour wiggle room in case we got lost driving to CT.  We left her house a little after 7pm and hit the road.

It was totally  my fault that I took the Mass Pike via Route 495 rather than picking it up much closer near the Auburn/Oxford area.  I simply wasn't thinking.  Nor was I expecting that traffic would be so unbelievably BAD that night!  The Pike was crawling...bumper to bumper traffic..and that's when it hit me: Columbus Day Weekend.  Grrrreeeeaaaaattttt.

We were supposed to get off the Pike on I-84, but after spending nearly two hours on the pike stuck in hellish traffic and the clock ticking away we simply gave up because there was no way that we'd get to CT in time for our 9pm reservation.  I was so pissed off.  It just never crossed my mind that traffic would be so heavy.

In the end we took the next exit off the Pike which landed us in the Palmer/Brimfield area and we drove a whole bunch of back roads until we got back into town.

I put approx. 200 miles on the car and never once got the bejeezus scared out of me.  I went onto the site on Saturday to see if I could change my tickets to another date, but no such luck.  We were out $44, but at least the Red Cross got some bucks.

Lesson learned - don't buy tickets on a whim without thinking through the traffic situation on a Friday night.