May 11, 2009

Monday Fashion Faux Pas

Working on the fourth floor of an office building is usually a pain because you’re either huffing it up the stairs or taking the elevator to get to your office. There aren't many advantages to being on the fourth floor of a six story building…except for today.

Turns out the fourth floor places me in the perfect position of looking outside the windows (in the back of the building) to spy on people as they walk through the parking lot. Most days the only action we see is a traffic back-up from California Ave to Route 9 or a deer snacking on some shrubs in our meticulous landscaping. But today was special.

“Look at this man. He’s wearing a white shirt, a white pair of pants, white socks and black sandals!” cried Tricia. “Kim, you’ve got to see this.”

I immediately jumped up and rushed to the back window to see for myself. ( Yes, I have a big problem with men wearing sandals and tube socks in warm weather. And he was dressed all in white. Doesn’t the dude know it’s only acceptable to wear white after Memorial Day? He couldn’t wait 22 more days?)

His shape was rather ambiguous so I grabbed a pair of binoculars and checked him out up close because I was having difficulty believing a man would dress all in white.

[You might be wondering why I have binoculars at work? I swear it wasn’t for any nefarious stalker-like purpose. My friend Sue’s daughter went to daycare down the road from our office and she used to use them to see her playing on the swings or in the sandbox. She was the stalker, not me. I just enabled better viewing.]

I focused the lenses and sure enough he was adorned in white –even his beard was white which answered my question of gender. I think it’s pretty brave of a man to dress all in white, but it’s even braver to go out in public with black sandals on looking like a fugly hot mess. Framingham isn’t Miami Beach. This is not Miami Vice. No linen suits are allowed. This guy should have been wearing an unassuming pair of beige chinos and a nice polo shirt if he wanted to celebrate the warm weather.

I Dunno. Maybe it’s me, but I think that’s how men in New England roll.

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